Why I Don’t Do Goals or New Year’s Resolutions
I don't make New Year's resolutions.
I don't do goals, either.
Come to think of it, I tend to go to sleep at my regular time on December 31st.
No staying up to watch the ball drop, fireworks, or the clock strike midnight.
And no, I'm not a Grinch or anti-holiday. 🤣
I just believe I can change my life whenever it needs changing.
And when that time comes, I know better than to believe that simply setting a goal is the key to change.
Setting a goal doesn't lead to change. Changing leads to change.
So when I notice an area of my life that I'd like to be different, here are the questions I ask myself:
What do I really want? And What could I change to move in that direction?
What decisions do I usually make?
What different decisions could I make to move towards this change?
What do I usually prioritize?
What change could I make in how I prioritize to move toward the change I want?
What am I holding on to?
What could I let go of to make room for this change?
What thoughts usually keep me from saying 'yes' to things I want/need?
What new thoughts could help me make decisions more aligned with what I want/need?
What would I usually make this decision mean about me?
What different perspective could I take?
Note how I use the word "could."
“Could” implies possibility.
There's no right way to change–only new approaches to try until you find the one that works for you.
Replacing "have to," "need to," or "should" with "could" is such a kinder, more generous way to move through.
Note how often "me" and "I" appear in those questions.
Things change in our lives when we do–when we change.
And that's what can make change feel hard: It isn't about anyone else.
Change is an inside job.
It's about us changing our thoughts–the stories we tell about ourselves.
It's about changing our perspective–the way we see the world, through a lens of possibility and abundance or a lens of fear and scarcity.
It's about changing our beliefs about what we can and can't have.
The change we want is rooted in our thoughts, perspective, and beliefs.
It's funny. I envision a tree with three roots, one for each: thoughts, perspective, and beliefs.
To grow a tree, we don't water the leaves.
We water and feed the roots.
Because thick roots make for sturdy trees.
The same is true for us when we want something to change.
We have to pay attention to the roots.
That's why I don't fool with goals or resolutions: they take my focus off the real work of change.
Watering leaves might make them glisten, but it won't make them grow.
Focus on the roots.
And not just on the last week of the year.
Rooting for you always,
Aisha
P.S. There are a few open spots for the Unleashed Living Community that kicks off in late January. If you want dedicated time to water your roots with support, encouragement, and accountability, email me so we can schedule some time to talk it through.
