Don’t be afraid to break.

I started working with a personal trainer this week.

And while it's only been two days, I know this is different.

Before deciding to work with this trainer, I'd been eyeing a popular online coach. Everything he said made sense, but I wondered if I would need something more personal. That wondering, that gap of uncertainty, kept me from saying 'yes.'

At first, I thought I might have been being non-committal.

Turns out, I was right.

(Funny how we discredit and dismiss our own knowing sometimes...)

Because during my evaluation, at a point when I thought I couldn't do any more, and I started to take my foot out of the strap on that damn rower, the trainer put my foot back on, leaned over my shoulder, and coached me through.

Lowkey thinking about this moment right now brings tears to my eyes.

Because sometimes all we need is someone who will remind us that we can, someone who will push us past our own limitations to dig deep, to push, to, in my trainer's words, "empty the tank."

My trainer is exactly who I need.

When I walk into his garage, he radiates.

He's effervescent because he is in alignment–doing his work.

And I feel that.

Yes, I am paying more than I expected.

And in return, I'm getting someone who doesn't accept my sh*t

…someone who doesn't let me quit on myself

…someone who tells me not to be afraid to show my body what it can do

…someone who whispers soothingly "you're okay" and reminds me to breathe when I feel like I'm dying

…someone who pushes me beyond what I think is possible into infinite possibility

…someone who is in his gift (this means everything to me)

Yes, it's ugly.

Yes, it hurts.

Yes, I hate it.

And

I've already done more than I thought I could.

I'm expanding.

This is growth.

This is evolution.

Breaking and building back better.

Breaking.

Building.

Better.

Don't be afraid to break.

I've put a lot of time, energy, and effort working on my inner strength.

It's time to make my outside match my inside.

Alignment.

Game on.