It’s Time to Unleash Your Strengths
Sometimes what we're longing for in our jobs isn't more money, isn't a better boss, isn't for the coworker who's coming in with that annoying extra pep in his step to trip and fall. What we're longing for is someone to see us, to see our unique value and give us the opportunity to put those strengths to use.
The first (and only) time I got fired from a job, it broke me. I'd never been "not good enough" at anything. I'd taken the job because they sought me out, and the salary was a huge step up.
For an educator, those were reasons enough.
They wanted someone who could be external-facing, someone who understood the organization's mission at her core. That was definitely me. But once I took the position, the person who hired me left, and her replacement had a different idea of my role–more internal, operational and behind the scenes.
My strengths would have to take a back seat.
What I had to offer the organization was no longer what they wanted from me. Showing up began to feel like a different kind of work. My ego took the wheel, and I went into hustling and perfecting to prove my worth. I glued myself to my emails trying not to miss a beat, responding at all times of the night. Completing tasks took twice as long because I was second-guessing every decision. I was determined to be successful, but every day it felt like I was working with my hands tied behind my back.
I was frustrated and resentful, and I felt like a failure. Broken.
But quitting wasn’t an option. I was a high-achiever, after all–we don’t quit…even if it’s to save ourselves.
When my job cut me loose, they did something for me that I should have done for myself: they gave me an opportunity to find a job where I could use my strengths and feel the unparalleled joy, fulfillment, and subsequent success that followed.
What I learned from that experience and now know for sure (a la Oprah) is this: knowing, making room for, and exercising our strengths everyday matters. We can't be truly happy or wildly successful without it.
In my work with students and their parents, my goal is to save them from having to learn this lesson the hard way. Instead of trying to live up to others' expectations while locking their strengths away, like I was, what if we taught them it's okay to not be good at this because you're a rockstar at that? What if we taught them how to identify others' strengths and align/partner with those whose strengths offset their own weaknesses? What if we taught kids to choose groups for school projects based on strengths instead of friendships? How much more confident would they be if they led with their strengths? How much more successful would you be? How much happier would our children be?
How much more successful and happy would we be?
Exactly.
Sometimes what we’re longing for in our jobs isn’t more money, isn’t a better boss, isn’t for the coworker who’s coming in with that annoying extra pep in his step to trip and fall. What we’re longing for is someone to see us, to see our unique value and give us the opportunity to put those strengths to use.
But here’s the problem: even in that scenario, we are still waiting and relying on someone else to do what we have the power to do for ourselves.
Making the commitment to give our strengths the attention they deserve means we have to speak up on their behalf. We must go into team meetings to find opportunities to lend our strengths. We have to sit down with our supervisor and say, "I'm really good at ___, and I'd like to find ways to use these skills to help our company be better. Is that something we can brainstorm/thought partner on?"
This is what it means to lead with our strengths. Until we prioritize leading with our strengths, we’ll always be looking for the next thing.
